Hot List 2015

Television and movies have increased in quality drastically in the last few years and it is an exciting time to be a fan!

Here are some things I'm looking forward to this year.

Television - "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt," is a Netflix original show produced by Tina Fey! It tells the story of a doomsday cult whose doom never comes and her journey to rejoin the world. Looks hilarious!!! Release: March 6

Movie - "Jupiter Ascending," is a sci-fi spectacular with a female lead!!! Release: February 6

Movie - "Kingsmen: The Secret Service" This movie just looks badass and fun. This is the kind of movie that looks like I'll get to just grin and shove popcorn into my face. Release: February 13

Movie - "The Last Five Years" Okay, this is going to be a girl guilt movie. I'm probably going to have to see this by myself. Release: February 13

Movie - "Chappie," because who doesn't love a sweetheart robot? Released: March 6

Movie - "A Little Chaos," looks like it will mostly be landscape porn and I am all for it. I do secretly like Kate Winslett a lot, too. Released: March 27th

Movie - "Avengers: Age of Ultron," because, duh. Released: May 1

Movie - "Pitch Perfect 2" It kills me that my husband is totally unwilling to see this movie. The first one is hilarious! I will be seeing this movie with someone who actually appreciates the movie. Released: May 15

Movie - "Mad Max: Fury Road" The Mad Max trilogies was a family favorite growing up so of course, I can't wait! Released: May 15

Movie - "Jurassic World" I just recently saw "Jurassic Park," do I need to see the other films? Released: June 12

Movie - "Inside Out," because I have to see every Pixar film ever. Released: June 19

Movie - "Ant Man," because I can get my superhero dose at the same time as my funny dose. Released: July 17

I'm only going to try to think through the summer now but it looks like it's going to be a great year!

American Horror Story: Freakshow

Firstly, everyone needs to catch up because I feel like I'm the only person who saw the season finale last night. Having that ending in my head any not being able to talk to anyone about what happened is kind of killing me. So instead of having a human to discuss this with, I will discuss it here. 

You've been warned. Spoilers ahead!

The overarching theme this season on American Horror Story is how following your dreams can often have unforeseen consequences. Elsa Mars, the matron of the freak show wished to be a big Hollywood star, Stanley and Maggie want to be rich beyond their wildest dreams, Dandy wants a playmate who isn't afraid of him, Twisty wants to make the children smile, and all of the freaks want to find a place they can call home and feel loved. Every wish comes with a price and sometimes the fates do not give you a choice to pay or not.

Rather than discussing the entire season as a whole (which would become extremely long-winded and exhausting) I would like to focus on the last three episodes, "Magical Thinking," "Show Stoppers," and "Curtain Call." The freak show has fallen on hard times with the advent of television and with wings of death flying though the freak camp. (Stanley getting his comeuppance for his murderous spree was extremely satisfying.) even without Stanley's help, Elsa had decided Hollywood is the place for her and she sells her freak show to a nice looking ventriloquist/magician named Chester (Played by Neil Patrick Harris).

While Chester appears to be a mostly normal guy on the surface, it is quickly revealed that he is a deeply disturbed man. He is a former soldier whose wife fell for another army wife when he's away at war. Upon his return, it is apparent he is suffering from severe mental disconnect associated with PTSD. Chester at some point becomes quite attached to a ventriloquist doll named Marjorie though it is unclear to me how he came about finding her. Marjorie (played by Jamie Brewer) is a jealous woman. She doesn't like Chester looking at other women, she doesn't like other women looking at him, and she makes Chester painfully aware that he isn't being included in sexy times the same way he was prior to his deployment. I really can't imagine why a bunch of hot women would find a dude with a weird puppet unappealing. *snerk* After some, er, relationship problems concerning Marjorie's jealousy and well, knives and lots and lots of blood ERRYWHERE.

Chester is a man of means who has long dreamed of being a performing magician so having the opportunity to buy Elsa's show is a dream come true. Trading a dream for a dream. Elsa catches the first train for Los Angeles and Chester tries to make himself at home. As with all the men this season, he instantly fell for Bette and Dot who, coincidentally, had just decided it was high time for them to lose their virginity. How convenient! The trouble began, of course, when they weren't entirely keen on having Marjorie watch them get it on. You disrespect the puppet, you gotta die. Though Chester was torn between his love for Bette and Dot and his loyalty to Marjorie, the mind-controlling crazy puppet always wins. Just as Chester had started feeling at home, his welcome was warn out. The next day at rehearsal, Chester announced that he wanted to try the classic magician trick of sawing a pretty lady in half with Bette and Dot as his lovely assistant. Luckily, Bette and Dot can smell crazy and didn't fall into his little scheme. Unfortunately, Maggie's a little denser and hopped into his box only to have her ankles cuffed at the bottom of the box, preventing her from pushing the false legs through. Next came one of the most graphic scenes in recent memory of this show as Chester sawed Maggie in half and spilled her guts onto the stage. I can't say she didn't have it coming, but DAMN. Chester then goes on to stab Marjorie several times and turns himself into the police confessing to that crime instead of the more obvious crime.

With Chester in jail, or more likely, a nut house, Elsa is forced to take possession of her once again in another attempt at sale. Who do we know with unlimited funds, an eye on the spotlight, and an undying love for a two lovely ladies who happen to share a body? Why Elsa, why? How could you ever think that selling the show to Dandy could be a good idea? What an incredibly selfish decision. But everyone gets their wish, right? After some struggles, Elsa gets her show, "The Elsa Mars Hour," and is extremely successful even getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Dandy gets to be the star of his own show with plenty of freaks to back him up. What could be better?

Of course, Elsa isn't happy. Fame is never what you think it will be. For every "Elsa Mars Hour," there are twenty crappy coffee commercials. She also learned that you should never marry your manager because when your marriage goes to shit, so does your career. Dandy meanwhile is finding that running a freak show requires a lot more than hanging banners and knowing a lot of showtunes but we all know what happens when Dandy doesn't get his way. People die. So while Elsa's career is crumbling over the discovery of her German snuff film, Dandy was making a freak show snuff film of his own. 

Dandy's one mistake though was to not kill them all and the boy's not really a fighter. Turns out, not a strong swimmer either and not, as he claimed, immortal. Fancy that. 

After repeating the phrase, "Oh fuck," for the entirety of the episode, the quiet, peaceful ending was a relief. This has been a crazy, fucked up season. Potentially the most fucked up season to date. That being said, it was extremely enjoyable and potentially my favorite season to date (though season 1 is hard to beat). 

So everyone, catch up! This show is fantastic!

All This and Gargantua-2

I don't understand how the world isn't losing its collective shit over the new episode of Venture Bros. that aired on Monday. They're also not losing their kitten-loving minds about the epilogue on the Adult Swim website proclaiming that Season 6 is a real thing that's going to happen.... eventually. SEASON 6!!! Of Venture Bros!!! It's a thing that's going to happen and everyone is so calm and just... going about their lives. How? Is there a support group I'm missing out on or something?

Last night I watched the first new Venture Bros episode since 2013 (has it really been that long?) and it brought so much joy to my heart. I miss this show so much it hurts sometimes. Archer is a good show but it doesn't quite fill the hole that these brothers have left behind. "All This and Gargantua-2" jumped right back into the action with quite possibly every single damn character they've ever had... Okay, that's an exaggeration but not by much. Old feuds were rekindled, Hank was an idiot per usual and Dean looks like he can't wait until he grows into his puppy paws, poor kid. If this special or whatever it is is anything to base the new season from, we will not be disappointed! This hour-long episode stirred up a lot of shit that is begging for resolve!

Oh quick side note: Can I just say that I'm supper glad that Dr.Mrs. The Monarch's Moppets are dead? Those dudes were creepy as hell. Yikes!

So fear not, Team Venture! More calamity and chaos is waiting on the horizon of our future on some undisclosed date! All is not lost... except for maybe the Venture compound and Gargantua-2 and well... spoilers....

GO TEAM VENTURE!

Ending Wars With Crossword Puzzles

 

I've spent a good portion of the last two months thinking more about unbreakable codes, WWII, and word puzzles. In fact, more time than I've ever spent with this particular subject before. It was really more accidental than planned that I happened to finish reading Neal Stephenson's "Cryptonomicon," a week before THE IMITATION GAME was released in my area. The book has sat on my shelf for nearly a year because I found it to be a bit intimidating at just over 1,100 pages but I've started leaving my book choices up to random selection. (I placed slips of paper with the titles of every book I own and have not read into a jar and when it comes time to pick a new book, I draw a slip from the jar.) So random selection and some somewhat slow reading due to the holidays, I got two heaping spoonfuls of code breaking and Alan Turing action and I'm now totally hooked.

I'm married to an amateur World War II scholar. The first movie we saw after moving in together was "Inglorious Basterds." Luckily for me, he's much more interested in all the behind-the-scenes work that was done during the war and all the technological breakthroughs than he is in actual boots on the ground stories. (Though we did see FURY which I can't really recommend and it is REALLY violent. It's an extremely well-made movie I never have to see again.) Due to his interest in the subject and my interest in Benedict Cumberbatch, THE IMITATION GAME was on our radar very early on. It was on the "Must See," list. 

"Cryptonomicon," is a work of fiction based off the activities at Bletchley Park during WWII as well as the American WWII code breakers, the Japanese code creators and modern encryption and decryption specialists. While it is fiction, it is clear that the author did quite a bit of research. Though the book is quite long, and in some parts quite complicated, the story is wholly engrossing from beginning to end. I absolutely recommend that anyone with even the vaguest interest in cryptography should read this book. I have even been pushing it on my non-fiction loving husband and maybe one day he'll crack under the pressure. 

If you are not at all familiar with the Enigma Code or the work that was done at Bletchley Park, "Cryptonomicon," is a good introduction to that world and the great deal of pressure these scientists and mathematicians were under. Because of their incredible code breaking skills, thousands of lives were saved. It is very rare in a war-type situation that the work of a small group of individuals has such vast impact on the outcome.

THE IMITATION GAME only focuses on the English code breakers in Bletchley Park where Alan Turing was inventing his code breaking machine which later became known as the computer. While this group of individuals and Turing specifically, were not the entirety of this story, and even large chunks of their own story were left out, they were a critical piece to the puzzle that broke the Enigma codes and halted the Axis powers. This was an incredibly well-made movie. Both Benedict Cumberbatch and Kiera Knightley deserve to win awards for their performances. I am always amazed by how well Cumberbatch can completely immerse himself in a character, leaving any part of his own personality undetectable. He was amazing. Even though how the story progresses and eventually tragically ends is well-known, it was incredibly touching and brought us to tears on more than one occasion. This is a movie that makes you want to read the book it was based from. (This book.) It makes it clear that there is so much more to the story and it makes you want to crave that knowledge. 

In conclusion, whether you ingest these two products together or separately, I strongly suggest that you treat yourself to two fantastic examples of storytelling. Turing's is a story that needs to be told if only to prevent his fate from being bestowed upon others. A man who saved thousands should not have died as he did. 

"Stop Pretending Art is Hard" - Amanda Palmer

I've been fighting with this for a long time. I don't know why there is such a disconnect in my brain but it makes me extremely uncomfortable to call myself an artist. It could be because I'm not professionally trained in a medium I consider to be "art." Yes, I am a trained vocalist who performed for more than 13 years, yes I went to college to be a writer, that's professional training... But that isn't enough for my brain. I can't draw, I can't sculpt, I can't paint. Can't isn't even the right word in this circumstance, is it? I mean, I have the ability to do these things to some lesser degree, but I don't believe my "talent" is on par with people I would consider to be artists. I've gotten away with calling myself a writer, an arts-and-craftist, a kitchen witch for years. I'm perfectly willing to accept these individual aspects of myself and my abilities, but if I were to give myself the over-arching title of Artist, then the Fraud Police would instantly be notified, and I'd end up with, "Not a REAL artist," stamped across my forehead.

Writer I'm fine with. I've always written. In the past, I have been paid real monies for my written words. Sometimes by strangers, even! But I haven't been paid to write in a few years which is part of the reason why I started this blog. I just wanted to keep in the habit. I suppose if I were to move to a large metropolitan region, I'd have better chances of becoming a paid writer again but I don't see myself moving any time soon. But yes, even though I'm only writing for myself for the foreseeable future, I have no problem calling myself a writer.

Arts-and-craftist... Yeah, this is one I kind of made up to give myself an out concerning the artist title. I make things with my hands. My photography is pretty good (though neglected), I can knit (sort of), I sometimes make scrapbooks and other kinds of paper art. All of these things are things I'd consider to be "low art." None of it "deserves" to be called art. Sure, I would and have given things I've made away as gifts but I'd never charge money for these things. These are all silly little things that I make to express love for my friends and family. A good number of my family and friends have wrapped themselves in a scarf that I've knit lovingly and then apologized for profusely because it isn't up to Bloomingdale's standards. My uncle, upon receiving one of my wide-striped scarves for Christmas last year, proclaimed that it was amazing and I REALLY SHOULD be selling them. I was supremely embarrassed. But why? Because it isn't good enough? For who? The Fraud Police, probably. If I tried to trade one of my scarves for money, they'd show up and tell me only "REAL" knitters get to get paid for their scarves. Fucking Fraud Police...

Kitchen witch is a fun one. I love to cook and bake. I can make some supremely tasty things though they're often not the prettiest. So I'm not an artist, right? I don't have mad fondant skills so it doesn't matter that I won 2nd place at the county fair for my black-bottomed peanut butter pie (Why doesn't this count? Well, it's a small county...), and my former employer paid me to cater all of the desserts for the company's holiday party last year (but she bought a cake at a professional bakery which was just so not fair!) but there isn't such a thing as a baking artist, right? Right? Edible things can't be called art, it's too temporary. Plus, calling myself also has the added bonus of separating myself from my creations. If I'm a witch, it isn't skill, it's magic! See what I did there? That's how to not take credit for anything.

So with all of these various titles that I've given myself and all the ways I have found to duck and dodge the loaded title of "artist," I was met eye to eye by Amanda Palmer and her amazing book which I haven't even finished yet. At this point in time, it doesn't matter what I am and am not willing to call myself and the things I make. I have been seen. This book has eyes that have stared inside of me, smiled and said, "I see you, artist. It's okay. You do you." The Fraud Police aren't real. I'm never going to be found out because there's nothing for them to find. And this has been so incredibly difficult to write because every time I say something nice about the things I create, I want to cringe even though I know that's silly. I've been seen. I don't have to prove anything to anyone else. Though convincing myself will always be so much harder than anyone else.

So for now, I'm going to keep all the stupid little titles and ideas I've put into place to keep my system humming along. As long as I am creating something, it doesn't matter what I call it. And in the dark of the night, when I'm alone and no one can see or hear me, I will experiment with the phrase, "I am an artist."

I can't say it aloud today, but maybe someday...

Mockingjay: Part 1

Hunger Games! Ya ya ya!

So it appears that there is a large percentage of my brain that has been utterly destroyed by South Park. I accept this about myself, mostly comforted by the belief that I am not alone. I am not the only person who was making up fake Lorde songs after the movie was over. I guess I should just shake my fist at Matt and Trey and let them know that they did their job. Thanks for screwing up my brain, guys.

MOCKINGJAY! Right, right... Back to Mockingjay: Part 1. I will start by saying that yes, I have read all of the books and I am a big fan. I have been very impressed thus far by how well they have kept true to the books. One of the things you usually have to do as both a book fan and a movie fan, is that you often have to forcibly divorce movies based off books from the book itself. Otherwise it is nearly impossible to enjoy most book-to-movie adaptations. This is fortunately not the case with this movie series. Directors and script-writers have stayed extremely true to the source material and as a result, the movie is entirely engrossing. There really aren't any moments where the informed viewer has to pull their attention and say, "Wait what are you doing now?" I am extremely thankful for movies like that.

I absolutely loved Mockingjay: Part 1. I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation for the entirety of the movie. The moment the credits rolled, I turned wide-eyed to Chris and said, "I CAN'T WAIT FOR PART TWO." I'm having a hard time deciding who has it worse, the unsullied who went into the movie blissfully ignorant and now have to wait to see what happens next, or those of us who have read the books and know the madness that is just beginning. I agree with where they cut the movie (though I predicted a blackout/roll credits about ten minutes too early.) and they've left so so much adventure for part 2. Part 1 seemed to mostly be a world building movie.

Mockingjay:Part 2 currently has a release date of November 20, 2015. I'm all for planning a Hunger Games marathon the week before. Who is with me?

If you haven't seen this film yet, I fully recommend it. If you're one of those people who is waiting to see it right before part 2 comes out, I'm just going to stare at you knowingly for the next year, 'kay?

Big Hero 6

BIG HERO 6 is a delight of a movie truly made for the entire family. It is funny, heart-warming and action-packed. This is the movie for children who love superheros and for parents who could really do without the violence of the majority of superhero movies. Baymax, the amazing, giant, marshmallow of a robot was caring, compassionate and hilarious. All he wants is to keep his humans safe! Who could argue with that?

The thing I really love about this movie is that it encourages kids toward science. I love that the science students in this movie represent a wide range of demographics. It shows that anyone can be a superhero and anyone can study science. The more we can encourage kids to pursue careers in science, the better future generations will fair. Scientists need to become the cool kids and I think this movie makes a good case for that sort of world.

Another great thing about this movie is the overarching theme of positive action through grief. Your greatest revenge should not include destroying another person. Living well and prospering will always be the greatest revenge possible. By carrying on the legacies of those who came before you, it is possible to honor their memory and defeat your foes simultaneously.

Go see this movie. Go see it in 3D. Take every kid you know.