1. How many days this week did you do your morning pages? How was the experience for you? Have you recommended morning pages to anyone else?
I wrote every day! I still enjoy writing the pages and it has gotten easier. My hand doesn't cramp anymore. I have not recommended them to anyone but I am going to see if my dad wants to do the program when I'm done with the whole book.
2. Did you do your artist date this week? What did you do? How did it feel?
I consider my ladies book club to be an artist date. Those women are so smart and wonderful and I'm constantly inspired by them.
3. Did you experience any synchronicity?
I got some new pen pals...
4. Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant to your recovery?
No, it was a good week. I worked on my short story.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Week 11: Writing Tasks
1. Get s special creativity notebook. Number the pages 1 - 7. Give one page to each of the following categories: health, possessions, leisure, relationships, creativity, career, and spirituality. With no thought as to the particulars, list ten wishes in each area.
Well that was exhausting...
2. Inventory for yourself the ways you have changed since beginning your recovery.
I am not aware of the things that were blocking me, I have disassociated myself from people who are detrimental to my creativity, I have accepted that I am supposed to create, I actually wrote a thing and was met with a lot of positive feedback, I feel more compelled to make things.
3. List five ways you will change as you continue.
I will continue to make things.
I will work to get something published.
I will call myself an artist.
I will not shy away from questions about my work.
I will continue to be more diligent in my work.
4. List five ways you plan to nurture yourself in the next six months: courses you will take, supplies you will allow yourself, artist's dates, and vacations just for you.
I will reward myself with writing dates.
I will be patient when writing is hard.
I will make my dummy books beautiful.
I will celebrate small accomplishments.
I will learn how to make my own pie crust.
5. Plan out one week's nurturing for yourself.
Monday I will be patient with myself and drink tea and read.
Tuesday I will cook something comforting for dinner.
Wednesday I will go to book club with some amazing women.
Thursday I will work on my scrapbook.
Friday I will have a night in.
Saturday I will wear a pretty dress and go out with my friends.
Sunday I will stay in and mend myself and work on my projects quietly.
6. Write an encouraging letter to your inner artist.
Dear inner-artist,
I love you so much. I am proud of the steps you have made in the last several months while working through "The Artist's Way." I am excited for all the projects we're going to work on together this year and I will do everything I can to encourage you at every turn.
Please don't let me discourage you at all! I know I can be a stick in the mud sometimes but I want you to feel free to spread your fairy wings and fly. We can do anything as long as we're together.
Love,
Mel
7. Reexamine your god concept. Does your belief system limit or support your creative expansion? Are you open minded about altering your concept of God?
I still don't believe in a god. I am still a Satanist which still means that all things in my life (both good and bad) do not come from a higher power but are a direct relation to something I have done and only by taking responsibility for myself and my work, will anything ever get done. I don't think this will change and considering the entire childhood I spent in churches thinking about what God was to me and what sort of relationship I have to that idea, I think I'm pretty set. I will still explore other religions and other forms of spirituality but I have reservations about whether or not my mind will change.
8. List ten examples of personal synchronicity that support the possibility of a nurturing creative force.
1. As soon as I announced to myself that I wanted to write but was looking for a project, a red panda escaped from the zoo and they don't know how.
2. When I had reservations about writing a children's book about a red panda, my friends banded together to guilt trip me into writing it.
3. As soon as the book was done, I got a new idea for a science fiction short story.
4. All of the edits for the red panda book were useful, constructive and positive.
5. I have two very good friends who are excited to be my writing sounding boards and first draft lovelies.
6. I was skeptical about donating to patreon but as soon as I did, Amanda Palmer made a David Bowie string quartet album.
7. My mind is clearer and I have fewer nightmares when I write.
8. Chris is trying really hard to give me space when he can see that I'm writing.
9. I have female friends who do not care what my project is, they will be excited for me.
10. If traditional publishing is not feasible, I have a very good friend who is a serious pro at self publishing... There is always a way.
Well that was exhausting...
2. Inventory for yourself the ways you have changed since beginning your recovery.
I am not aware of the things that were blocking me, I have disassociated myself from people who are detrimental to my creativity, I have accepted that I am supposed to create, I actually wrote a thing and was met with a lot of positive feedback, I feel more compelled to make things.
3. List five ways you will change as you continue.
I will continue to make things.
I will work to get something published.
I will call myself an artist.
I will not shy away from questions about my work.
I will continue to be more diligent in my work.
4. List five ways you plan to nurture yourself in the next six months: courses you will take, supplies you will allow yourself, artist's dates, and vacations just for you.
I will reward myself with writing dates.
I will be patient when writing is hard.
I will make my dummy books beautiful.
I will celebrate small accomplishments.
I will learn how to make my own pie crust.
5. Plan out one week's nurturing for yourself.
Monday I will be patient with myself and drink tea and read.
Tuesday I will cook something comforting for dinner.
Wednesday I will go to book club with some amazing women.
Thursday I will work on my scrapbook.
Friday I will have a night in.
Saturday I will wear a pretty dress and go out with my friends.
Sunday I will stay in and mend myself and work on my projects quietly.
6. Write an encouraging letter to your inner artist.
Dear inner-artist,
I love you so much. I am proud of the steps you have made in the last several months while working through "The Artist's Way." I am excited for all the projects we're going to work on together this year and I will do everything I can to encourage you at every turn.
Please don't let me discourage you at all! I know I can be a stick in the mud sometimes but I want you to feel free to spread your fairy wings and fly. We can do anything as long as we're together.
Love,
Mel
7. Reexamine your god concept. Does your belief system limit or support your creative expansion? Are you open minded about altering your concept of God?
I still don't believe in a god. I am still a Satanist which still means that all things in my life (both good and bad) do not come from a higher power but are a direct relation to something I have done and only by taking responsibility for myself and my work, will anything ever get done. I don't think this will change and considering the entire childhood I spent in churches thinking about what God was to me and what sort of relationship I have to that idea, I think I'm pretty set. I will still explore other religions and other forms of spirituality but I have reservations about whether or not my mind will change.
8. List ten examples of personal synchronicity that support the possibility of a nurturing creative force.
1. As soon as I announced to myself that I wanted to write but was looking for a project, a red panda escaped from the zoo and they don't know how.
2. When I had reservations about writing a children's book about a red panda, my friends banded together to guilt trip me into writing it.
3. As soon as the book was done, I got a new idea for a science fiction short story.
4. All of the edits for the red panda book were useful, constructive and positive.
5. I have two very good friends who are excited to be my writing sounding boards and first draft lovelies.
6. I was skeptical about donating to patreon but as soon as I did, Amanda Palmer made a David Bowie string quartet album.
7. My mind is clearer and I have fewer nightmares when I write.
8. Chris is trying really hard to give me space when he can see that I'm writing.
9. I have female friends who do not care what my project is, they will be excited for me.
10. If traditional publishing is not feasible, I have a very good friend who is a serious pro at self publishing... There is always a way.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Week 10: Check In
1. How many days this week did you do your morning pages? Are you still allowing yourself to write them freely?
All of them! Yes, I try to not have an agenda when I start and see where it goes. Even if I think I know where it is going, I am often wrong.
2. Did you do your artist date this week? Let yourself do an extra one. What did you do? How did it feel?
I did! Last night I had a relaxing night in. I did some reading in the bathtub. Today I had a tea latte at Old Town Coffee and Chocolate with some friends and then wandered two book stores. I bought two graphic novels.
3. Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it?
Not really.
4. Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery?
Nope this week just kind of was.
All of them! Yes, I try to not have an agenda when I start and see where it goes. Even if I think I know where it is going, I am often wrong.
2. Did you do your artist date this week? Let yourself do an extra one. What did you do? How did it feel?
I did! Last night I had a relaxing night in. I did some reading in the bathtub. Today I had a tea latte at Old Town Coffee and Chocolate with some friends and then wandered two book stores. I bought two graphic novels.
3. Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it?
Not really.
4. Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery?
Nope this week just kind of was.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Week 10: Writing Tasks
1. The Deadlies: On seven strips of paper write the following words: alcohol, drugs, sex, work, money, food, family/friends. For each deadly, write five ways in which it has ha a negative impact on your life.
alcohol: 1. It is much more expensive than other beverages. 2. Since I only drink socially, I sometimes worry that some people may not think I am as smart as I am. 3. My imagination is pretty clouded for a few days after I drink. 4. I always end up having to be the sober one who herds the drunk people like cats. 5. That once in a decade night where I drink way too much and end up saying terrible things about myself and crying.
Drugs: 1. Being around most drugs makes me pretty nervous. 2. I tried a couple things when I was younger and I think some people believe I maintained that crazy lifestyle which I did not. 3. If I do decide to smoke pot to help with anxiety or pain, I become really useless. 4. Since I am a mostly sober person, I end up getting asked to babysit. This makes me nervous because I know someone whose babysitee died. 5. I'm afraid that a friend of mine who had a bit of a problem and has fallen off the face of the earth may be dead but I have know way of knowing.
Sex: 1. I get grumpy when my sex life becomes inconsistent. 2. I am an introvert so when I was single, my sex drive was most of the reason I socialized. 3. I am very attracted to a lot of women but find it difficult to talk to them. 4. I take rejection really hard and is most of the reason I don't try to date women anymore. 5. When an inconsistent sex life makes me grumpy, I tend to not want to do any of my own work.
Work: 1. In the past, I have allowed exhaustion from a day job allow me to become lazy with my free time. 2. Reading is my favorite block. It is viewed as productive so no one will ever tell you to read less. But I allow it to use all my time I could be writing in. 3. I spend my entire day at my husband's store but I refuse to do any writing there because of the frequent interruptions. 4. I will let just about any chore be an excuse as to why I can't write. 5. Anxiety about not having a job and having the free time to write makes me afraid to write.
Money: 1. Not having a job means I am more anxious about money. 2. Since we can't afford the gym membership right now, I haven't been able to go to yoga which means I don't have a release for my negative energy. 3. I didn't have enough money for my groceries on Saturday and had to leave them there and go back for them. 4. Poor sales at the store mean husband is more anxious and we butt heads more. 5. I feel guilty any time I buy anything.
Friends/Family: 1. I often feel like I need to be the stable and grounded person in my friend group and do not talk about my problems. 2. I will sometimes let socializing get in the way of my writing. 3. My friends drink a lot more than I do. 4. Too much socializing can leave me mentally exhausted and unwilling to work. 5. I am afraid I talk about my projects with my friends too much and they really don't care.
2. Touchstones: Make a quick list of things you love, happiness touchstones for you. (River rocks worn smooth, willow trees, cornflowers, chicory, real Italian bread, homemade vegetable soup, etc.)Post this list where it can console you and remind you of your own personal touchstone. You may want to draw or acquire one or more of these items to display in your work area.
- fresh baked bread
- used book shops
- new pens
- new stationary
- getting to read a graphic novel cover to cover
- Thai iced tea
- cool rivers in summer
- old graveyards
- butternut squash raviolis
- soft, oversized sweatshirts
- summer dresses
- yoga pants
- sushi for one
- the ocean
- the forest
3. Answer the following questions.
Tell the truth. What do you think might be a problem? It is.
My procrastination.
Tell the truth. What habit do you have that gets in the way of your creativity?
Putting absolutely every chore before my writing.
What do you plan to do about the habit or problem?
Get up earlier in the morning and set aside writing time.
What is your payoff in holding on to this block?
I get to sleep in and the chores will always get done.
Which friends make you doubt yourself?
My friends who are able to make a living with their art.
Which friends believe in you and your talent?
Mostly these same friends. I have awesome artist friends like Angela, Xach, Ashley, Sophie, Brooke, etc. who are always glad when I make a thing. I have some friends who are maybe not exactly artists but at least understand the excitement of the creation.
What is the payoff in keeping your destructive friends?
Their drama is WAY more exciting than mine.
Which destructive habits do your destructive friends share with your destructive self?
Not planning, not following through, leaving decisions to their whims.
Which constructive habits do your constructive friends share with your destructive self?
Discipline, steady work habits, frequent check-ins with their goals, telling other friends their goals to stay accountable, finding people with similar goals.
4. Working with your answers to the questions above, try setting a bottom line for yourself. Begin with five of your most painful behaviors. You can always add more later.
I will give myself at minimum of one hour per day for creative work.
5. List five small victories.
- I found some small way to contribute money to my household even though I don't have a job.
- I finished my children's book and have started research on publishers.
- I have found a writing buddy to look over my first drafts.
- I have purchased a new notebook and pens.
- I have accepted that success is not scary and the universe wants me to work.
List three nurturing actions you took for your artist.
- I bought new writing supplies.
- I figured out how many more months it would take to finish "The Complete Artist's Way."
- I am taking all of this Friday night for me.
List three actions you could take to comfort your artist.
- Type up the bits of short story I have so far.
- Find an in-town writing buddy to keep me accountable.
- Renew the gym membership so I can go back to yoga classes.
Make three nice promises to yourself.
- I will do everything within my power to solve financial woes.
- I will be patient with myself concerning my writing habits.
- I will be conscious of my energy level in relation to all of the socializing I'm doing over the next two weeks.
Do one lovely thing for yourself each day this week.
Monday I ordered the remainder of the wedding pictures for the album.
Tuesday I watched the rain and read.
Wednesday I went for a walk to the bookstore despite the rainstorm. I remembered I had an umbrella after I got back.
Thursday I made a Mountain Goats Pandora station.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a photography light tent so I can get good pictures of my Polly Pockets.
alcohol: 1. It is much more expensive than other beverages. 2. Since I only drink socially, I sometimes worry that some people may not think I am as smart as I am. 3. My imagination is pretty clouded for a few days after I drink. 4. I always end up having to be the sober one who herds the drunk people like cats. 5. That once in a decade night where I drink way too much and end up saying terrible things about myself and crying.
Drugs: 1. Being around most drugs makes me pretty nervous. 2. I tried a couple things when I was younger and I think some people believe I maintained that crazy lifestyle which I did not. 3. If I do decide to smoke pot to help with anxiety or pain, I become really useless. 4. Since I am a mostly sober person, I end up getting asked to babysit. This makes me nervous because I know someone whose babysitee died. 5. I'm afraid that a friend of mine who had a bit of a problem and has fallen off the face of the earth may be dead but I have know way of knowing.
Sex: 1. I get grumpy when my sex life becomes inconsistent. 2. I am an introvert so when I was single, my sex drive was most of the reason I socialized. 3. I am very attracted to a lot of women but find it difficult to talk to them. 4. I take rejection really hard and is most of the reason I don't try to date women anymore. 5. When an inconsistent sex life makes me grumpy, I tend to not want to do any of my own work.
Work: 1. In the past, I have allowed exhaustion from a day job allow me to become lazy with my free time. 2. Reading is my favorite block. It is viewed as productive so no one will ever tell you to read less. But I allow it to use all my time I could be writing in. 3. I spend my entire day at my husband's store but I refuse to do any writing there because of the frequent interruptions. 4. I will let just about any chore be an excuse as to why I can't write. 5. Anxiety about not having a job and having the free time to write makes me afraid to write.
Money: 1. Not having a job means I am more anxious about money. 2. Since we can't afford the gym membership right now, I haven't been able to go to yoga which means I don't have a release for my negative energy. 3. I didn't have enough money for my groceries on Saturday and had to leave them there and go back for them. 4. Poor sales at the store mean husband is more anxious and we butt heads more. 5. I feel guilty any time I buy anything.
Friends/Family: 1. I often feel like I need to be the stable and grounded person in my friend group and do not talk about my problems. 2. I will sometimes let socializing get in the way of my writing. 3. My friends drink a lot more than I do. 4. Too much socializing can leave me mentally exhausted and unwilling to work. 5. I am afraid I talk about my projects with my friends too much and they really don't care.
2. Touchstones: Make a quick list of things you love, happiness touchstones for you. (River rocks worn smooth, willow trees, cornflowers, chicory, real Italian bread, homemade vegetable soup, etc.)Post this list where it can console you and remind you of your own personal touchstone. You may want to draw or acquire one or more of these items to display in your work area.
- fresh baked bread
- used book shops
- new pens
- new stationary
- getting to read a graphic novel cover to cover
- Thai iced tea
- cool rivers in summer
- old graveyards
- butternut squash raviolis
- soft, oversized sweatshirts
- summer dresses
- yoga pants
- sushi for one
- the ocean
- the forest
3. Answer the following questions.
Tell the truth. What do you think might be a problem? It is.
My procrastination.
Tell the truth. What habit do you have that gets in the way of your creativity?
Putting absolutely every chore before my writing.
What do you plan to do about the habit or problem?
Get up earlier in the morning and set aside writing time.
What is your payoff in holding on to this block?
I get to sleep in and the chores will always get done.
Which friends make you doubt yourself?
My friends who are able to make a living with their art.
Which friends believe in you and your talent?
Mostly these same friends. I have awesome artist friends like Angela, Xach, Ashley, Sophie, Brooke, etc. who are always glad when I make a thing. I have some friends who are maybe not exactly artists but at least understand the excitement of the creation.
What is the payoff in keeping your destructive friends?
Their drama is WAY more exciting than mine.
Which destructive habits do your destructive friends share with your destructive self?
Not planning, not following through, leaving decisions to their whims.
Which constructive habits do your constructive friends share with your destructive self?
Discipline, steady work habits, frequent check-ins with their goals, telling other friends their goals to stay accountable, finding people with similar goals.
4. Working with your answers to the questions above, try setting a bottom line for yourself. Begin with five of your most painful behaviors. You can always add more later.
I will give myself at minimum of one hour per day for creative work.
5. List five small victories.
- I found some small way to contribute money to my household even though I don't have a job.
- I finished my children's book and have started research on publishers.
- I have found a writing buddy to look over my first drafts.
- I have purchased a new notebook and pens.
- I have accepted that success is not scary and the universe wants me to work.
List three nurturing actions you took for your artist.
- I bought new writing supplies.
- I figured out how many more months it would take to finish "The Complete Artist's Way."
- I am taking all of this Friday night for me.
List three actions you could take to comfort your artist.
- Type up the bits of short story I have so far.
- Find an in-town writing buddy to keep me accountable.
- Renew the gym membership so I can go back to yoga classes.
Make three nice promises to yourself.
- I will do everything within my power to solve financial woes.
- I will be patient with myself concerning my writing habits.
- I will be conscious of my energy level in relation to all of the socializing I'm doing over the next two weeks.
Do one lovely thing for yourself each day this week.
Monday I ordered the remainder of the wedding pictures for the album.
Tuesday I watched the rain and read.
Wednesday I went for a walk to the bookstore despite the rainstorm. I remembered I had an umbrella after I got back.
Thursday I made a Mountain Goats Pandora station.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a photography light tent so I can get good pictures of my Polly Pockets.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Book of the Month: January
Every month there is a guarantee that I will read at least two books: one for my in-person Women Reading Women book club, and one for Emma Watson's online feminist book club. Anyway you look at that, it means I will be reading several books per month and while I think it would be a great exercise to write reviews for every single book I read, that just doesn't seem very likely. Some books warrant longer discussions than others. Also, I'm not a huge fan of writing long, drawn out accounts of books I didn't particularly enjoy. To me, that feels like not enjoying it twice. Instead I've decided to pick one book each month that particularly stands out of all the books I finished that month. That way, at the end of the year, I will in theory have a list of my twelve favorite reads of the year. We shall see how this actually turns out but it is worth a shot, right?
I finished six books in January. Most of them were quite enjoyable. (If you want to see how I felt about all six books, you should follow me on GoodReads.com) My favorite book for January was the book I read because of Emma Watson's book club. Gloria Steinem's, "My Life on the Road," was a beautiful tale about how traveling has shaped her work and her views about the world. The majority of her travels were within the United States so she was able to see firsthand what was important to different people and different areas. Steinem has been a revolutionary in a time of continued revolution. She participated in the civil rights movement of the 1960s, she has been an advocate for women's rights of all kinds, she is the co-founder of Ms. magazine, she has also advocated for Native American and gay rights. She is a person for people and as such an advocate, she has facilitated many town hall discussions to enable ordinary citizens to make their voices heard. In this process, Steinem has found the huge discrepancies between what the media says that Americans want and what average citizens tell her they want.
What I most loved about this book was Steinem's positive outlook about the impact travel has upon a person. It is difficult to remain ignorant to the struggles of ordinary people when you are looking them in the eye. The only way to truly know a place is to actually talk to the people who live there and have lived there for generations. While single women especially are dissuaded from traveling on their own, Steinem argues that travel of this kind is essential for a person's growth. An unexplored life is a wasted opportunity.
I would encourage anyone who has traveled or wishes to travel to read this book. Not only does this book tell the tale of the fight for feminism and civil rights in this county, but of the individuals who helped make change possible at a micro level.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Week 9: Check In
1. How many days this week did you do morning pages?
I didn't write on Saturday because I forgot I had a bunch of stuff to do.
2. Did you do your artist date this week? Have you kept the emphasis on fun? What did you do? How did you feel?
The husband, the house guest, and I made a trip up to Brookings, OR yesterday. We saw the forest, the ocean, a nearly extinct owl, and a giant sink-hole. It was fun and relaxing even though I had a killer headache for a couple hours.
3. Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it?
Not particularly.
4. Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery?
I realized this week that a lot of my fear and blockage stems from a former employer I had. She wrote a fictionalized memoir and it was a really good book but she couldn't sell it to save her life. I worked for her for four plus years and the entire time, she was entirely focused on getting the book traditionally published. I haven't worked for her for probably six years and as far as I know, she's still chasing that dragon. I am afraid to turn into her. I don't want to get so wrapped up in something that I've created that I lose all touch with reality and destroy my finances and relationships trying to get something published that no one is interested in. Realizing where this block came from and why I'm just as afraid of success as I am of failure has opened me up this week.
I didn't write on Saturday because I forgot I had a bunch of stuff to do.
2. Did you do your artist date this week? Have you kept the emphasis on fun? What did you do? How did you feel?
The husband, the house guest, and I made a trip up to Brookings, OR yesterday. We saw the forest, the ocean, a nearly extinct owl, and a giant sink-hole. It was fun and relaxing even though I had a killer headache for a couple hours.
3. Did you experience any synchronicity this week? What was it?
Not particularly.
4. Were there any other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery?
I realized this week that a lot of my fear and blockage stems from a former employer I had. She wrote a fictionalized memoir and it was a really good book but she couldn't sell it to save her life. I worked for her for four plus years and the entire time, she was entirely focused on getting the book traditionally published. I haven't worked for her for probably six years and as far as I know, she's still chasing that dragon. I am afraid to turn into her. I don't want to get so wrapped up in something that I've created that I lose all touch with reality and destroy my finances and relationships trying to get something published that no one is interested in. Realizing where this block came from and why I'm just as afraid of success as I am of failure has opened me up this week.
Week 9: Tasks
1. Read through your morning pages. Who have you consistently been complaining about? What have you procrastinated on? What have you allowed yourself to change or accept? What need have you been neglecting?
I don't like my work space. Writing at our store is impossible because there is always something going on and it is distracting and I don't like writing at home because I have to work at the kitchen table. I really want my own work space.
I have been procrastinating on doing any work at all. Luckily, I broke that habit and I've been writing quite a bit more this month.
I've leaned into the idea that right now the most important thing for me to do is support my husband and his needs. It is fine that I'm not looking for another job that is fulfilling to me because he has expressed his need for me to be around so that's what I'm doing. It will never stop being irritating that people don't respect this decision and even after I tell them this is what we're doing, tell me they hope I find work soon.
Even though I am giving the majority of my time to C and the shop, I cannot neglect my own need to keep order in my life and to create and do work of my own.
2. Imagine having your goal fully accomplished. What does that look like? Be specific. Name your goal. Describe yourself doing it.
Brooke will do a beautiful job on the illustrations for the Masala book, I will make beautiful dummy books and a major publisher will think my story is great and give us a good chunk of money for it and it will be available at bookstore and zoo gift shops across the country. Maybe that book money would even be enough for a down-payment on a house.
3. List for yourself your creative goals for the year. List for yourself your creative goals for the month. List for yourself creative goals for the week.
This year I would like to get one thing I have written published in some regard.
This next month I would like to finish the short story I have been working on.
This week I would like to put some significant effort into writing more of the short story.
4. Name a creative U-Turn.
I recently made a U-Turn in my work because I realized I had run out of excuses for not working. I don't have a job technically and I've been helping the husband in his shop which has a lot of down time between tasks. And then David Bowie died just days after a new album was released and I realized that he was actively dying and still made beautiful art so I had run out of excused. I then spent an hour every morning working on my children's book idea and within a week, the book was done. This has led me to start other projects as well. It's just time. I can't let how other people treat their own work negatively impact how I view my own.
I don't like my work space. Writing at our store is impossible because there is always something going on and it is distracting and I don't like writing at home because I have to work at the kitchen table. I really want my own work space.
I have been procrastinating on doing any work at all. Luckily, I broke that habit and I've been writing quite a bit more this month.
I've leaned into the idea that right now the most important thing for me to do is support my husband and his needs. It is fine that I'm not looking for another job that is fulfilling to me because he has expressed his need for me to be around so that's what I'm doing. It will never stop being irritating that people don't respect this decision and even after I tell them this is what we're doing, tell me they hope I find work soon.
Even though I am giving the majority of my time to C and the shop, I cannot neglect my own need to keep order in my life and to create and do work of my own.
2. Imagine having your goal fully accomplished. What does that look like? Be specific. Name your goal. Describe yourself doing it.
Brooke will do a beautiful job on the illustrations for the Masala book, I will make beautiful dummy books and a major publisher will think my story is great and give us a good chunk of money for it and it will be available at bookstore and zoo gift shops across the country. Maybe that book money would even be enough for a down-payment on a house.
3. List for yourself your creative goals for the year. List for yourself your creative goals for the month. List for yourself creative goals for the week.
This year I would like to get one thing I have written published in some regard.
This next month I would like to finish the short story I have been working on.
This week I would like to put some significant effort into writing more of the short story.
4. Name a creative U-Turn.
I recently made a U-Turn in my work because I realized I had run out of excuses for not working. I don't have a job technically and I've been helping the husband in his shop which has a lot of down time between tasks. And then David Bowie died just days after a new album was released and I realized that he was actively dying and still made beautiful art so I had run out of excused. I then spent an hour every morning working on my children's book idea and within a week, the book was done. This has led me to start other projects as well. It's just time. I can't let how other people treat their own work negatively impact how I view my own.
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