I will start by saying that I am an only child.
It is my unscientific opinion that there are two types of only children: There are those who felt deprived by this status and want to collect friends as if they were Pokemon. Then there are those who think of their status as a gift and relished in every quiet moment they got alone with their thoughts.
I am the latter. I have always had better relationships with books rather than people, I could be kept busy for hours given just a tape recorder with a microphone and I'm usually that person who forgets to invite other people when I go on outings. I used to be very shy as well but summer camp, acting classes and the realization of a the necessity of human contact has driven me to become merely somewhat quiet around those I don't know well. Outgoing is socially acceptable. No one has ever said, "Gee you really have to wonder what that loud guy over there is thinking," because he tells you. People are afraid of the quiet ones because no one knows what they are thinking. (My darling boyfriend can attest to the fact that quiet people should not try to become loud people because those thoughts no one knows about? Yeah, sometimes it's better that way...)
I currently work in one of the quietest places in a very loud office. I am a tech for an internet marketing company. The people outside my office are peddling our wares to strangers all day while the tech sit quietly in our little office and make things go. Really, this is an ideal situation for me. I'm not alone in the office so I get to say that I'm having social interactions all day and there's a physical door between extrovert and introvert world. I've been thinking a lot about the quiet, comfortable bubble I've built for myself lately and I have come to realize that my solitude and my peace are a major indulgence that I don't think most people even consider taking.
I have one full day every week that I get to spend however I like, for the most part. This usually involves going to yoga, the farmer's market, catching up on chores that are important to me and working on my own projects. I get to run on my own schedule and I don't have to worry about how my decisions impact anyone else. While I do interact with society and walk through the social experiment, in a lot of ways I'm on the outside watching. Instead of being involved in my own social interactions, I get to watch how people treat each other and it is amazing.
It has been said that one cannot expect to be loved by another until she loves herself. Along this line, I would have to argue that no one person can expect others to wish to spend their time with her until she can enjoy spending time by herself. If you're bored, you're boring and those who can entertain themselves will never want.
Next time you have an afternoon or an evening by yourself, don't immediately start calling everyone you know to "do something." Sit in the quiet in the presence of yourself and just enjoy you. Enjoy the company you give to yourself. Having the opportunity to explore your own thoughts and feelings without interruptions is a gift.
And then when you're amongst friends and loved ones again, that too will be a gift.
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