- How many days this week did you do morning pages? How do they make you feel? What do you find yourself getting from them?
I have done morning pages every day this week. However, I am unsure if I will do them over the weekend. My parents are staying with us this weekend and I don't know if I can get them in before they come in for breakfast in the morning. Yes, this is a cop out. I don't do my pages on Sunday anyway.
The pages have become very easy. They feel good. My hand doesn't even cramp up that much anymore which is good. I have found that my hand cramps even less if I have done yoga the night before. Positive reinforcement for both activities!
I have been getting more introspective with the pages. They have been helping me work through some things mentally. It's easier to play out a scenario on the page to see how I actually feel about something and how probable a particular outcome may be. It also helps me decide if certain routes are worth my time. It is a very useful tool.
- Did you go on an artist's date this week? What did you do?
I went to two different book shops and gazed lovingly at the spines. I also went to a bead shop to look at the colorful beads and also get a couple necklaces repaired.
- Were there other issues this week that you consider significant for your recovery?
My biggest hurdle is myself. I need to become more diligent.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Week 2 Writing Prompts, Part 2
- Read back over the affirmations from week one. Have they caused any sort of reaction?
I am continuously kicking myself in my own ass. I have ten weeks left of "The Artist's Way," and I have been resisting so damn hard. My affirmations say that even if I don't write all the time, I'm still a writer. That is a really easy phrase for my brain to manipulate. What it does not seem to understand is that I at least need to be a writer sometimes!
- Return to your list of imaginary lives from last week. Add five more lives.
- I am a ballet dancer. I am graceful, balanced, and disciplined. I definitely don't move like one of the hippos in Fantasia. I am one of the ostriches.
- I am a baker. I don't make fancy decorated cakes, but I make really delicious breads, pies, pastries, and cupcakes. I am often told my food tastes like home.
- I am the mother of a little girl. We play dress-up and make believe. We bake cookies and draw pictures for daddy. We have a little garden where we are trying to grow pumpkins.
- I am a singer. I have a little folk band and we tour little fairs and harvest festivals.
- I am a high school health teacher. I give the kids the actual information about their bodies they deserve and encourage them to inform themselves.
- Ten Tiny Changes: List ten changes you'd like to make for yourself, from the significant to the small. Do it like this: "I would like to _____."As the morning pages nudge us increasingly into the present, where we pay attention to our current lives, a small shift like a newly painted bathroom can yield a luxuriously large sense of self-care.
- I'd like to learn to make pie dough.
- I'd like to make my own raviolis.
- I'd like to buy a new car.
- I'd like to own a house.
- I'd like to see the world with my husband.
- I'd like to bake more.
- I'd like to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up."
- I'd like to have a room with a chartreuse ceiling.
- I'd like to have the patience to garden.
- I'd like to do a handstand in yoga. (Just once.)
- Select one small item and make it a goal this week.
I will bake this week.
- Now actually do it.
Last night I baked a loaf of pumpkin challah bread. The last time I baked was two months ago. The last time I made bread was at least a year ago. This was a new recipe I had never tried before. It took a few hours but I was patient with it and it turned out lovely! I will probably use that recipe again. I think it could be easy to make one day every week or two "bread night."
I am continuously kicking myself in my own ass. I have ten weeks left of "The Artist's Way," and I have been resisting so damn hard. My affirmations say that even if I don't write all the time, I'm still a writer. That is a really easy phrase for my brain to manipulate. What it does not seem to understand is that I at least need to be a writer sometimes!
- Return to your list of imaginary lives from last week. Add five more lives.
- I am a ballet dancer. I am graceful, balanced, and disciplined. I definitely don't move like one of the hippos in Fantasia. I am one of the ostriches.
- I am a baker. I don't make fancy decorated cakes, but I make really delicious breads, pies, pastries, and cupcakes. I am often told my food tastes like home.
- I am the mother of a little girl. We play dress-up and make believe. We bake cookies and draw pictures for daddy. We have a little garden where we are trying to grow pumpkins.
- I am a singer. I have a little folk band and we tour little fairs and harvest festivals.
- I am a high school health teacher. I give the kids the actual information about their bodies they deserve and encourage them to inform themselves.
- Ten Tiny Changes: List ten changes you'd like to make for yourself, from the significant to the small. Do it like this: "I would like to _____."As the morning pages nudge us increasingly into the present, where we pay attention to our current lives, a small shift like a newly painted bathroom can yield a luxuriously large sense of self-care.
- I'd like to learn to make pie dough.
- I'd like to make my own raviolis.
- I'd like to buy a new car.
- I'd like to own a house.
- I'd like to see the world with my husband.
- I'd like to bake more.
- I'd like to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up."
- I'd like to have a room with a chartreuse ceiling.
- I'd like to have the patience to garden.
- I'd like to do a handstand in yoga. (Just once.)
- Select one small item and make it a goal this week.
I will bake this week.
- Now actually do it.
Last night I baked a loaf of pumpkin challah bread. The last time I baked was two months ago. The last time I made bread was at least a year ago. This was a new recipe I had never tried before. It took a few hours but I was patient with it and it turned out lovely! I will probably use that recipe again. I think it could be easy to make one day every week or two "bread night."
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Week 2 Writing Prompts
- Where does your time go? List your five major activities this week. How much time did you give to each one? Which were what you wanted to do and which were shoulds? How much of your time is spent helping others and ignoring your own desires? Have any of your (creatively) blocked friends triggered doubts in you?
I know a lot of my day is not necessarily spent wisely. I spend a good deal of time playing on the internet and generally trying to avoid whatever I'm "supposed" to be doing which is silly because I have set out the things that are on my To Do list, not anyone else so why would I not want to do them? I read for probably two hours a day though not all in one chunk. Usually an hour or so in the afternoon and an hour before I go to sleep. Sometimes less if I fall asleep. Then of course, I spend a couple hours every day doing various chores, cooking, The Great British Bake Off, etc. As the book says, it is a lot easier to think about writing but not actually do it, than to buckle down and do the thing that needs to be done. My schedule is also not exactly normal right now since I am out of work and my days are a little more fluid than usual. I have been fairly consistent with my morning pages though, which is good.
I have been doing some organizational work for my hubby so I spend a lot of time hanging around just to see if he'll have anything for me. I could be writing in that time but I'm usually not. I'm also weirdly protective of my writing so if someone walks by, I'll minimize the window and do something else which is dumb because everyone around me knows I'm writing and I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to. Plus, this all goes on my blog when I'm done so what's the point of covering my work?
I haven't talked to too many people about this project but those I have talked to have been very supportive. I feel very lucky that I have so many working artist friends. Even if they don't do their art for a living, the majority of them do it as a very consistent side hobby. If nothing else, many of them have suggested I try to push myself a big further on this project than I had intended to. So not only am I using this project for NaNoWriMo this year to get the habit of writing, I'm also going to try to reach the word count goal of 50,000 words. That's super intimidating. Especially since I know I'm going to have to play some catch up during the week of Thanksgiving since I'll be hosting the family get together. I think I got off topic a bit...
I'm not doing for myself as much as I would like to and most of my "self" stuff is less than constructive. I am working to create new habits to make my me time a bit more constructive and mentally positive.
- List twenty things you enjoy doing. When was the last time you let yourself do these things? Next to every entry, place a date.
writing - daily
yoga - twice weekly (last session yesterday)
knitting - nightly
baking - beginning September
sewing - two years?
dancing - ballet studio closed 3+ years ago
singing in a choir - 2010
hiking - two weeks ago
costuming - started some preliminary ideas this afternoon, last time made something, two Halloweens ago
coloring - last week
crafting - aside from knitting, 6+ months
cooking - 3+ times per week
reading - daily
poi spinning - 2 years+
hooping 1.5 years +
board games - June
camping - August
road tripping - two weeks ago
acting in plays - 2005
ice skating - 2009
- From the list above, write down two favorite things that you've avoided that could be this week's goals.
Costuming: I started brainstorming a Dolores Umbridge costume this afternoon. I haven't decided if I should base it off of the movie Umbridge or the book Umbridge so I need to add "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" to my "To Read" list.
Baking: I've been off the bread wagon for a couple of years (baking-wise, not eating-wise) so I'd like to make a pumpkin challah this week.
I know a lot of my day is not necessarily spent wisely. I spend a good deal of time playing on the internet and generally trying to avoid whatever I'm "supposed" to be doing which is silly because I have set out the things that are on my To Do list, not anyone else so why would I not want to do them? I read for probably two hours a day though not all in one chunk. Usually an hour or so in the afternoon and an hour before I go to sleep. Sometimes less if I fall asleep. Then of course, I spend a couple hours every day doing various chores, cooking, The Great British Bake Off, etc. As the book says, it is a lot easier to think about writing but not actually do it, than to buckle down and do the thing that needs to be done. My schedule is also not exactly normal right now since I am out of work and my days are a little more fluid than usual. I have been fairly consistent with my morning pages though, which is good.
I have been doing some organizational work for my hubby so I spend a lot of time hanging around just to see if he'll have anything for me. I could be writing in that time but I'm usually not. I'm also weirdly protective of my writing so if someone walks by, I'll minimize the window and do something else which is dumb because everyone around me knows I'm writing and I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to. Plus, this all goes on my blog when I'm done so what's the point of covering my work?
I haven't talked to too many people about this project but those I have talked to have been very supportive. I feel very lucky that I have so many working artist friends. Even if they don't do their art for a living, the majority of them do it as a very consistent side hobby. If nothing else, many of them have suggested I try to push myself a big further on this project than I had intended to. So not only am I using this project for NaNoWriMo this year to get the habit of writing, I'm also going to try to reach the word count goal of 50,000 words. That's super intimidating. Especially since I know I'm going to have to play some catch up during the week of Thanksgiving since I'll be hosting the family get together. I think I got off topic a bit...
I'm not doing for myself as much as I would like to and most of my "self" stuff is less than constructive. I am working to create new habits to make my me time a bit more constructive and mentally positive.
- List twenty things you enjoy doing. When was the last time you let yourself do these things? Next to every entry, place a date.
writing - daily
yoga - twice weekly (last session yesterday)
knitting - nightly
baking - beginning September
sewing - two years?
dancing - ballet studio closed 3+ years ago
singing in a choir - 2010
hiking - two weeks ago
costuming - started some preliminary ideas this afternoon, last time made something, two Halloweens ago
coloring - last week
crafting - aside from knitting, 6+ months
cooking - 3+ times per week
reading - daily
poi spinning - 2 years+
hooping 1.5 years +
board games - June
camping - August
road tripping - two weeks ago
acting in plays - 2005
ice skating - 2009
- From the list above, write down two favorite things that you've avoided that could be this week's goals.
Costuming: I started brainstorming a Dolores Umbridge costume this afternoon. I haven't decided if I should base it off of the movie Umbridge or the book Umbridge so I need to add "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" to my "To Read" list.
Baking: I've been off the bread wagon for a couple of years (baking-wise, not eating-wise) so I'd like to make a pumpkin challah this week.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Week 1 Writing Prompts part 2
- Write a letter to the editor in your defense.
To whom it may concern:
M is a writer no matter what she tells you. It doesn't matter if she doesn't write at all for months and months at a time, that does not change who she essentially is. In her heart of hearts, she is always wishing there were a way she could spend more time writing or possibly even make her living with her words.
Do not allow her to convince you she isn't really that great because she has become intimidated by the things she thinks she should be doing. That doesn't matter. Some day she may write a book, or maybe not. Someday she may create a collection of poetry, or maybe not. Her title as writer does not hinge on if she does or does not do any of these things. It is fine if she decides to keep her writing secret for the rest of her life, as long as writing occurs.
M has permission to create a whole lot of bad writing. Through allowing herself to write badly, she will one day write well. Nothing worth doing is easy. If M feels safe enough to share her writing with you, do her the service she deserves and be honest in your critiques. If you do not tell her where her short-comings lie, there is no way to improve upon them.
Sincerely,
M's Writer Self
List three old champions of your creative self-worth. This is your hall of champions, those who wish you and your creativity well. Be specific.
This is much easier... I've always had a lot of support in my writing. My parents have always believed in me as a writer. My dad and I spend a lot of time encouraging each other to write. We buy each other writing books and try to check in with each other to see if the other has been writing at all. He used to do some freelance writing for car magazines and other family members and I have encouraged him to start a car blog but I think he feels shy about it.
Mr. Devoe my high school literary magazine teacher was another big supporter. Three of the four years of high school I spent totally entrenched in both choir and the literary magazine. That was my life. Through Devoe's classes, I learned a lot of great writing skills and creating a massive amount of work. I mostly wrote poetry in high school with one or two short stories I was proud of. He helped me decide that a journalism degree was the way for me to go. Devoe was one of those teachers who really wanted to see his students succeed and had a lot of passion for his job. I will always be thankful for the confidence he gave me.
Thirdly, I have to thank Angela for instilling me with a little bit of her madness. Angela is a true working artist. She left her office job that was sapping her creative energy and now supports herself and her family on her creative work. Angela is not the type to pamper a person's ego. If she knows you are a creative person who is not creating, she'll smack you upside the head until you get off your lazy butt and put the work in. She wants her friends to do good work and find practical ways to make their dreams come true and I really appreciate her influence.
- Select and write out one happy piece of encouragement. Write a thank you letter. Mail it to yourself or a long-lost mentor.
The feeling of publication is such an amazing feeling. Working on the literary magazine and for two school newspapers gave that to me. There is no better feeling than holding your writing in your hand and knowing that people you don't know are going to read it. It doesn't matter how many other people read it or what they think of your writing, what matters is they are seeing your work.
- If you had five other lives to lead, what would you do in each of them?
In another life I am a librarian in a large, university library. I help students and community members find the exact right book they are looking for and create programs for the students and community members to have many positive interactions with their local library.
In another life I am a yoga instructor. I am flexible and well-balanced and I can easily touch my nose to my knees. I help people heal their bodies and their minds through our shared practice. (My lack of forward bend totally wouldn't make me cry!)
In another life I own a book/tea shop. My shop would be filled with comfortable chairs with little tables beside them. It would be a place that people feel comfortable spending a good deal of time. Maybe they'd have study groups. Maybe it would be the place that introverts would feel comfortable existing even though there are people around. We'd have various book clubs and kids events.
In another life I would own a bar with my friends in a former funeral home. It would be called Finnegan's Wake. We would host music events of all sorts and a weekly Drunk History night in which people with an enthusiasm for history could come and give casual lectures about a subject of their choosing that anyone can come listen to. I believe that people have a great deal of interest about history, they just don't want to have to take a test about it. An informal setting with beer would be perfect.
In another life I live in a cabin in the woods. I have a little herd of chickens and I am content to work from home. I write consistently and feel satisfaction in my work. Maybe I could sustain myself selling eggs and meat at my local farmer's market. My husband and I could travel whenever we see fit and we would see the world together, hand in hand.
To whom it may concern:
M is a writer no matter what she tells you. It doesn't matter if she doesn't write at all for months and months at a time, that does not change who she essentially is. In her heart of hearts, she is always wishing there were a way she could spend more time writing or possibly even make her living with her words.
Do not allow her to convince you she isn't really that great because she has become intimidated by the things she thinks she should be doing. That doesn't matter. Some day she may write a book, or maybe not. Someday she may create a collection of poetry, or maybe not. Her title as writer does not hinge on if she does or does not do any of these things. It is fine if she decides to keep her writing secret for the rest of her life, as long as writing occurs.
M has permission to create a whole lot of bad writing. Through allowing herself to write badly, she will one day write well. Nothing worth doing is easy. If M feels safe enough to share her writing with you, do her the service she deserves and be honest in your critiques. If you do not tell her where her short-comings lie, there is no way to improve upon them.
Sincerely,
M's Writer Self
List three old champions of your creative self-worth. This is your hall of champions, those who wish you and your creativity well. Be specific.
This is much easier... I've always had a lot of support in my writing. My parents have always believed in me as a writer. My dad and I spend a lot of time encouraging each other to write. We buy each other writing books and try to check in with each other to see if the other has been writing at all. He used to do some freelance writing for car magazines and other family members and I have encouraged him to start a car blog but I think he feels shy about it.
Mr. Devoe my high school literary magazine teacher was another big supporter. Three of the four years of high school I spent totally entrenched in both choir and the literary magazine. That was my life. Through Devoe's classes, I learned a lot of great writing skills and creating a massive amount of work. I mostly wrote poetry in high school with one or two short stories I was proud of. He helped me decide that a journalism degree was the way for me to go. Devoe was one of those teachers who really wanted to see his students succeed and had a lot of passion for his job. I will always be thankful for the confidence he gave me.
Thirdly, I have to thank Angela for instilling me with a little bit of her madness. Angela is a true working artist. She left her office job that was sapping her creative energy and now supports herself and her family on her creative work. Angela is not the type to pamper a person's ego. If she knows you are a creative person who is not creating, she'll smack you upside the head until you get off your lazy butt and put the work in. She wants her friends to do good work and find practical ways to make their dreams come true and I really appreciate her influence.
- Select and write out one happy piece of encouragement. Write a thank you letter. Mail it to yourself or a long-lost mentor.
The feeling of publication is such an amazing feeling. Working on the literary magazine and for two school newspapers gave that to me. There is no better feeling than holding your writing in your hand and knowing that people you don't know are going to read it. It doesn't matter how many other people read it or what they think of your writing, what matters is they are seeing your work.
- If you had five other lives to lead, what would you do in each of them?
In another life I am a librarian in a large, university library. I help students and community members find the exact right book they are looking for and create programs for the students and community members to have many positive interactions with their local library.
In another life I am a yoga instructor. I am flexible and well-balanced and I can easily touch my nose to my knees. I help people heal their bodies and their minds through our shared practice. (My lack of forward bend totally wouldn't make me cry!)
In another life I own a book/tea shop. My shop would be filled with comfortable chairs with little tables beside them. It would be a place that people feel comfortable spending a good deal of time. Maybe they'd have study groups. Maybe it would be the place that introverts would feel comfortable existing even though there are people around. We'd have various book clubs and kids events.
In another life I would own a bar with my friends in a former funeral home. It would be called Finnegan's Wake. We would host music events of all sorts and a weekly Drunk History night in which people with an enthusiasm for history could come and give casual lectures about a subject of their choosing that anyone can come listen to. I believe that people have a great deal of interest about history, they just don't want to have to take a test about it. An informal setting with beer would be perfect.
In another life I live in a cabin in the woods. I have a little herd of chickens and I am content to work from home. I write consistently and feel satisfaction in my work. Maybe I could sustain myself selling eggs and meat at my local farmer's market. My husband and I could travel whenever we see fit and we would see the world together, hand in hand.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Mad Max: Fury Road
There are a small handful of movies that were in fairly heavy rotation during my childhood. They were my Dad's favorite movies, "The Blues Brothers," "Animal House," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," and the "Mad Max" trilogy were key among them. So while I haven't watched the Mad Max movies in quite awhile, they are still important movies to me and I was so incredibly excited to hear the original director was in the process of making another movie and Mel Gibson wasn't going to be in it! After the initial SDCC announcement, I derailed a phone call with my Mom to make sure my Dad knew that this film was coming out and demanding he go watch the trailer.
If you look at this movie from a distance, it is about a bunch of rebels who drive away from a place out into the middle of the desert, stop, look around for a moment, and then drive back. Max's entire script could fit on one side of a cocktail napkin. Furiosa's lines could maybe fill up both sides of the same napkin. It isn't a terrible complex movie in its basic structure, and yet it is entirely thrilling and held me enraptured from beginning to end.
I love that practical effects were predominantly used rather than digital effects. I love that while the cast has entirely changed, the heart of this movie franchise is still intact. I love how empowering the female characters are and I tolerate that one of the War Boys looks almost exactly like my cousin which was super distracting.
The story of people enslaved on the hunt for a mythical better place is not a new story. What is new is how the story ends. Instead of arriving in this Other land and finding the fountains flow with milk and honey and all problems are solved, the Other is just as barren and desolate as the land the party originated from. Not all myths of prosperity actually result in the promised land. Sometimes you have to stand and fight to make your home into the promised land.
I've seen this movie twice now and I would gladly watch it again basically any time. It is visually stunning and entirely thrilling.
Week 1 Writing Prompts
- List three old enemies of your creative self-worth. Please be as specific as possible in doing this exercise. Your historic monsters are the building blocks of your core negative beliefs.
I don't think I have any specific people who are enemies to my creative self-worth. If anything, everyone in my life up to a certain point was so optimistic about my writing, that I may have gotten an unrealistic idea of what a writer's life was going to be like. Everyone was pretty on board for me going out into the world to be the kid from "Almost Famous," and I was dumped out of college mid-recession. I did have one professor in college who was an enemy to creativity in that I always felt that her words were encouraging, but her actions were not. Any time I would go to her for actual advise about who was hiring and where I could get work with my brand new journalism degree, she'd try to shoo me away. I think this came from a place of fear for her because the current job market was just such a wasteland. She wanted to prepare her students the best to her ability but there wasn't necessarily anything to be prepared for. The job market was drying up right before her eyes and she felt powerless to help her students. This could all be me reading into her motives and assuming the best of her but that's how I feel. She was sarcastic and flippant with me as a way of hiding her own fear. So I went out into the world not feeling like I had any directions, not being able to use my new shiny degree to support myself, and feeling very angry about my situation.
I think ideas have been my creative enemies much more than actual people. "Your handwriting is TERRIBLE," "You can't spell," "There are so many others who can do it better." Those are the things that keep the notebooks empty and keep me from living up to my potential. In reality, none of those things should have any impact on my writing. So what my handwriting is bad? I could type everything. Typing also solves the spelling problem. And yes, people are always going to be better at things than me but if "50 Shades of Gray," has taught me anything, it is that it does not matter if you're actually any good at all. "50 Shades," is "Twilight," fan fiction written by a Mormon woman who doesn't actually know anything about the subject of which she writes and she is still a household name and her book is internationally known. And I can poo-poo her books all I want but she's still better than me because I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A DAMN BOOK.
- Select and write out one horror story from your monster hall of fame. You do not need to write long or much, but do jot down whatever details come back to you.
Eh, I don't really have any horror stories... I've only had one teacher ever who didn't like like way I wrote. Sophomore year of high school and I honestly can't remember his name... I just remember we called him Llama Man because he spit when he talked. He's the only one to ever give me low scores on writing assignments and say he didn't like my style. I thought he was lazy and unoriginal. He also had us do "peer review" a lot which is a thing I have always loathed. I would much rather have someone skilled rip my work to shreds than have someone draw a smiley face on the top of my page and say, "Great job!"
I don't think I have any specific people who are enemies to my creative self-worth. If anything, everyone in my life up to a certain point was so optimistic about my writing, that I may have gotten an unrealistic idea of what a writer's life was going to be like. Everyone was pretty on board for me going out into the world to be the kid from "Almost Famous," and I was dumped out of college mid-recession. I did have one professor in college who was an enemy to creativity in that I always felt that her words were encouraging, but her actions were not. Any time I would go to her for actual advise about who was hiring and where I could get work with my brand new journalism degree, she'd try to shoo me away. I think this came from a place of fear for her because the current job market was just such a wasteland. She wanted to prepare her students the best to her ability but there wasn't necessarily anything to be prepared for. The job market was drying up right before her eyes and she felt powerless to help her students. This could all be me reading into her motives and assuming the best of her but that's how I feel. She was sarcastic and flippant with me as a way of hiding her own fear. So I went out into the world not feeling like I had any directions, not being able to use my new shiny degree to support myself, and feeling very angry about my situation.
I think ideas have been my creative enemies much more than actual people. "Your handwriting is TERRIBLE," "You can't spell," "There are so many others who can do it better." Those are the things that keep the notebooks empty and keep me from living up to my potential. In reality, none of those things should have any impact on my writing. So what my handwriting is bad? I could type everything. Typing also solves the spelling problem. And yes, people are always going to be better at things than me but if "50 Shades of Gray," has taught me anything, it is that it does not matter if you're actually any good at all. "50 Shades," is "Twilight," fan fiction written by a Mormon woman who doesn't actually know anything about the subject of which she writes and she is still a household name and her book is internationally known. And I can poo-poo her books all I want but she's still better than me because I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A DAMN BOOK.
- Select and write out one horror story from your monster hall of fame. You do not need to write long or much, but do jot down whatever details come back to you.
Eh, I don't really have any horror stories... I've only had one teacher ever who didn't like like way I wrote. Sophomore year of high school and I honestly can't remember his name... I just remember we called him Llama Man because he spit when he talked. He's the only one to ever give me low scores on writing assignments and say he didn't like my style. I thought he was lazy and unoriginal. He also had us do "peer review" a lot which is a thing I have always loathed. I would much rather have someone skilled rip my work to shreds than have someone draw a smiley face on the top of my page and say, "Great job!"
Monday, October 19, 2015
Writer's Contract
I, M.A.L., understand that I am undertaking an intensive, guided encounter with my own creativity. I commit myself to the twelve-week (or more) duration of the course. I, M., commit to weekly reading, daily morning pages, a weekly artist's date, and the fulfillment of each week's tasks.
I, M.A.L., further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, M., commit myself to excellent self-care-- adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering-- for the duration of the course.
Signed,
M.A.L.
October 19, 2015
I, M.A.L., further understand that this course will raise issues and emotions for me to deal with. I, M., commit myself to excellent self-care-- adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering-- for the duration of the course.
Signed,
M.A.L.
October 19, 2015
Pan
This was a compromise movie. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you know that the only reason I got to see this movie is because my husband and I decided to attend two different movies at the same time. He wanted to see, "Bridge of Spies," and I wanted to see, "Pan." We both wrinkled our noses at the other person's movie choice so this was the best possible solution. Honestly, I don't blame my sweetie for not wanting to see this movie. It was not a quality movie. I mean, don't get me wrong! It was a pretty movie and I was very entertained but I would never ever suggest that this is a GOOD movie. "Bridge of Spies," will probably will a bunch of awards. "Pan," would be lucky to get a Razzie.
This is not the typical Peter Pan movie. Instead of being set in Victorian England with Peter Pan already living in Neverland ever fighting the one-handed Captain Hook, they instead decided to make this somewhat of a prequel. It is set in WWII London in a home for orphaned boys (one of whom is a little boy named Peter whose mother left him a pan flute necklace) whose caretakers sell the little boys to the pirate Black Beard. Black Beard's men then take the children back to Neverland which is filled with all the orphaned boys of the world whoa act as slave labor, mining "Pixum" aka pixie dust in crystal form.
Once Peter arrived in Neverland, I realized this movie and I were going to have a problem. Instead of the pirates singing sea shanties, they sang rock songs! Namely, Nirvana's "Nevermind," and The Ramones', "Blitzkreig Bop," because... reasons? I don't know, are actual sea shanties too dirty for a PG rating these days? Luckily, only those two songs were used and the time spent in the massive pirate encampment was limited which really, only made the song selection that much more confusing. The Neverland natives didn't sing modern tunes, neither did the pixies. Why just the pirates? It is all very baffling.
On his first day in the mines, young Peter sort of kind of makes a friend? I guess? A dude in his late 20s, early 30s who at first refuses to identify himself claiming he's no one's friend is only looking out for himself so don't even look at me bud! Oh.... okay. Mischief ensues causing Peter to have to walk the plank, accidentally flies, ends up in jail, dude who is no one's pal busts him out and they make for the native encampment. The native tribe is comprised of every kind of brown person from all over the world except actual native Americans though the entire village seems to have an Indian (from India) inspiration in the color pallet and the style of dress. But the princess.... Hoo boy, the princess is such a white girl! Tiger Lilly should not have strawberry blonde hair! What in the hell?! "I'm not your pal, guy," is forced to fight the tribe's greatest warrior, an Asian dude with mad trampoline skills. After valiantly getting his ass kicked and then saved by Peter, reveals himself to be James Hook (though with two hands still and no ship).
Hook then spends the rest of the movie generally being an insufferable misogynistic know-it-all who generally just fucks everything up and makes people mad. Less than five movie minutes after Tiger Lilly decides to trust Hook, he betrays her to the pirates because he likes her so darn much and doesn't want her to be killed and then condescendingly calls her sweetie and expects to be thanked for his service. What a great guy!
The rest of the story doesn't really matter. Pirates were defeated, fairies danced, life lessons were learned, Tiger Lilly didn't speak like, at all, Peter and James are bffs with a big ol' ship.
I honestly don't see the point of this movie. It doesn't really expand upon the story at all, it doesn't give the characters any extra depth, it doesn't make Hook more likeable. Hook is basically every dude on a dating site. Slimy gross. It was pretty but that was the only thing it had going for it.
I would like to thank all the children in the audience for a movie that let out at 11pm. Thank you for being better behaved than most adults in movie theaters these days. I didn't even mind the kid who endlessly wandered the theater because he was quiet.
So there, I saw this movie so you wouldn't have to.
Friday, October 16, 2015
The Artist's Way: Day 1
I have taken the book off of my shelf and put in on my desk within constant eyesight while I am "working." The idea is that once per day, for an hour or so, the book will guilt me into opening it. Today I battled through all the various introductions which this book has several of because it is actually three books in one. I admit, I do not typically read introductions in books, even if they're written by someone I like. I don't necessarily want that much information about a book before I dive into it. I am much more likely to go back and read the introduction or forward or preface after I'm done with the book.
I am excited about this journey but it is also rather daunting. Julia Cameron says that this is basically a twelve week course and as I probably won't be able to dedicate the same amount of time to the project every day, it will definitely take much longer than that.
One thing I will have to get over with this project is that she makes a lot of references to God and The Creator as the one who is the source of inspiration and the giver of creative juices. It shouldn't be too difficult to substitute these references with something that aligns better with my atheist ideals. God = muse, cool done. I have no problem with religion but it isn't my lifestyle and it was just slightly off-putting right off the bat with this book.
So here's to a fresh start in a creative life. Wish me luck and bear with me while I struggle.
I am excited about this journey but it is also rather daunting. Julia Cameron says that this is basically a twelve week course and as I probably won't be able to dedicate the same amount of time to the project every day, it will definitely take much longer than that.
One thing I will have to get over with this project is that she makes a lot of references to God and The Creator as the one who is the source of inspiration and the giver of creative juices. It shouldn't be too difficult to substitute these references with something that aligns better with my atheist ideals. God = muse, cool done. I have no problem with religion but it isn't my lifestyle and it was just slightly off-putting right off the bat with this book.
So here's to a fresh start in a creative life. Wish me luck and bear with me while I struggle.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
State of the Blog
It has been eight months since I last updated this blog.
This is a thing I am aware of.
In terms of the internet, it has been roughly 1,000 e-years since I've written here and that's not okay. This was supposed to be the year I got my hobbies back but it seems like the only hobbies I re-adopted were reading (I've read 67 books so far this year), coloring in my adult coloring book, ignoring my wedding scrapbook, and ignoring my blog! Yaaaay! About a month ago I made a pledge to write more next year, giving myself an out but was quickly reminded that there are still several months left in THIS year. Darn years with all their months...
Momentum is also a thing. It is super easy to leave something behind, it is a lot harder to pick something up you used to do but aren't sure if you still do as well. Forming coherent sentences for example! So aspirations get dropped because failure is scary and if you don't try, you can't fail, right? No... Not right. I'm not the kind of person who was always super good at a lot of things. I still have to remind myself that there is a short list of things I am good at that I should be proud of. I have also learned that it is not necessary for me to be the best at anything because that little inkling of fear that makes me not want to try lives in everyone. A lot of people really listen to that feeling and they don't try! As a result, I've gotten a lot of awards and recognition for things I'm not necessarily the best at simply by being the only one to show up. My mother's favorite example of this is how I won the Home Run Derby without hitting a single ball simply because I was the only girl in my age group to show up. I swung and whiffed my way to victory because I guess I've never been afraid to embarrass myself.
All that being said, this is hopefully going to be the start of some positive momentum. Writing has always been a big, important part of my life and I would like it to continue to be. As a result, I will be working on this blog more and I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month. I've always hated that it is November which has a big, 3 - 4 day weekend holiday, but no matter! I have challenged myself to work through "The Complete Artist's Way." My posts on this blog will alternate between the typical posts for this blog, movie reviews, things I'm excited about, etc. I will also be adding my workbook entries from "The Complete Artist's Way." Both types of post will go toward my word count, only the regular blog posts will get linked on my facebook page. I'm really not sure if anyone wants to watch me do writing exercises. That sounds somewhat tedious.
My blog is not dead. I am not dead. I like being able to call myself a writer. I don't want to be a writer who does not write. I've finally run out of excuses.
This is a thing I am aware of.
In terms of the internet, it has been roughly 1,000 e-years since I've written here and that's not okay. This was supposed to be the year I got my hobbies back but it seems like the only hobbies I re-adopted were reading (I've read 67 books so far this year), coloring in my adult coloring book, ignoring my wedding scrapbook, and ignoring my blog! Yaaaay! About a month ago I made a pledge to write more next year, giving myself an out but was quickly reminded that there are still several months left in THIS year. Darn years with all their months...
Momentum is also a thing. It is super easy to leave something behind, it is a lot harder to pick something up you used to do but aren't sure if you still do as well. Forming coherent sentences for example! So aspirations get dropped because failure is scary and if you don't try, you can't fail, right? No... Not right. I'm not the kind of person who was always super good at a lot of things. I still have to remind myself that there is a short list of things I am good at that I should be proud of. I have also learned that it is not necessary for me to be the best at anything because that little inkling of fear that makes me not want to try lives in everyone. A lot of people really listen to that feeling and they don't try! As a result, I've gotten a lot of awards and recognition for things I'm not necessarily the best at simply by being the only one to show up. My mother's favorite example of this is how I won the Home Run Derby without hitting a single ball simply because I was the only girl in my age group to show up. I swung and whiffed my way to victory because I guess I've never been afraid to embarrass myself.
All that being said, this is hopefully going to be the start of some positive momentum. Writing has always been a big, important part of my life and I would like it to continue to be. As a result, I will be working on this blog more and I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month. I've always hated that it is November which has a big, 3 - 4 day weekend holiday, but no matter! I have challenged myself to work through "The Complete Artist's Way." My posts on this blog will alternate between the typical posts for this blog, movie reviews, things I'm excited about, etc. I will also be adding my workbook entries from "The Complete Artist's Way." Both types of post will go toward my word count, only the regular blog posts will get linked on my facebook page. I'm really not sure if anyone wants to watch me do writing exercises. That sounds somewhat tedious.
My blog is not dead. I am not dead. I like being able to call myself a writer. I don't want to be a writer who does not write. I've finally run out of excuses.
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