1. The Deadlies: On seven strips of paper write the following words: alcohol, drugs, sex, work, money, food, family/friends. For each deadly, write five ways in which it has ha a negative impact on your life.
alcohol: 1. It is much more expensive than other beverages. 2. Since I only drink socially, I sometimes worry that some people may not think I am as smart as I am. 3. My imagination is pretty clouded for a few days after I drink. 4. I always end up having to be the sober one who herds the drunk people like cats. 5. That once in a decade night where I drink way too much and end up saying terrible things about myself and crying.
Drugs: 1. Being around most drugs makes me pretty nervous. 2. I tried a couple things when I was younger and I think some people believe I maintained that crazy lifestyle which I did not. 3. If I do decide to smoke pot to help with anxiety or pain, I become really useless. 4. Since I am a mostly sober person, I end up getting asked to babysit. This makes me nervous because I know someone whose babysitee died. 5. I'm afraid that a friend of mine who had a bit of a problem and has fallen off the face of the earth may be dead but I have know way of knowing.
Sex: 1. I get grumpy when my sex life becomes inconsistent. 2. I am an introvert so when I was single, my sex drive was most of the reason I socialized. 3. I am very attracted to a lot of women but find it difficult to talk to them. 4. I take rejection really hard and is most of the reason I don't try to date women anymore. 5. When an inconsistent sex life makes me grumpy, I tend to not want to do any of my own work.
Work: 1. In the past, I have allowed exhaustion from a day job allow me to become lazy with my free time. 2. Reading is my favorite block. It is viewed as productive so no one will ever tell you to read less. But I allow it to use all my time I could be writing in. 3. I spend my entire day at my husband's store but I refuse to do any writing there because of the frequent interruptions. 4. I will let just about any chore be an excuse as to why I can't write. 5. Anxiety about not having a job and having the free time to write makes me afraid to write.
Money: 1. Not having a job means I am more anxious about money. 2. Since we can't afford the gym membership right now, I haven't been able to go to yoga which means I don't have a release for my negative energy. 3. I didn't have enough money for my groceries on Saturday and had to leave them there and go back for them. 4. Poor sales at the store mean husband is more anxious and we butt heads more. 5. I feel guilty any time I buy anything.
Friends/Family: 1. I often feel like I need to be the stable and grounded person in my friend group and do not talk about my problems. 2. I will sometimes let socializing get in the way of my writing. 3. My friends drink a lot more than I do. 4. Too much socializing can leave me mentally exhausted and unwilling to work. 5. I am afraid I talk about my projects with my friends too much and they really don't care.
2. Touchstones: Make a quick list of things you love, happiness touchstones for you. (River rocks worn smooth, willow trees, cornflowers, chicory, real Italian bread, homemade vegetable soup, etc.)Post this list where it can console you and remind you of your own personal touchstone. You may want to draw or acquire one or more of these items to display in your work area.
- fresh baked bread
- used book shops
- new pens
- new stationary
- getting to read a graphic novel cover to cover
- Thai iced tea
- cool rivers in summer
- old graveyards
- butternut squash raviolis
- soft, oversized sweatshirts
- summer dresses
- yoga pants
- sushi for one
- the ocean
- the forest
3. Answer the following questions.
Tell the truth. What do you think might be a problem? It is.
My procrastination.
Tell the truth. What habit do you have that gets in the way of your creativity?
Putting absolutely every chore before my writing.
What do you plan to do about the habit or problem?
Get up earlier in the morning and set aside writing time.
What is your payoff in holding on to this block?
I get to sleep in and the chores will always get done.
Which friends make you doubt yourself?
My friends who are able to make a living with their art.
Which friends believe in you and your talent?
Mostly these same friends. I have awesome artist friends like Angela, Xach, Ashley, Sophie, Brooke, etc. who are always glad when I make a thing. I have some friends who are maybe not exactly artists but at least understand the excitement of the creation.
What is the payoff in keeping your destructive friends?
Their drama is WAY more exciting than mine.
Which destructive habits do your destructive friends share with your destructive self?
Not planning, not following through, leaving decisions to their whims.
Which constructive habits do your constructive friends share with your destructive self?
Discipline, steady work habits, frequent check-ins with their goals, telling other friends their goals to stay accountable, finding people with similar goals.
4. Working with your answers to the questions above, try setting a bottom line for yourself. Begin with five of your most painful behaviors. You can always add more later.
I will give myself at minimum of one hour per day for creative work.
5. List five small victories.
- I found some small way to contribute money to my household even though I don't have a job.
- I finished my children's book and have started research on publishers.
- I have found a writing buddy to look over my first drafts.
- I have purchased a new notebook and pens.
- I have accepted that success is not scary and the universe wants me to work.
List three nurturing actions you took for your artist.
- I bought new writing supplies.
- I figured out how many more months it would take to finish "The Complete Artist's Way."
- I am taking all of this Friday night for me.
List three actions you could take to comfort your artist.
- Type up the bits of short story I have so far.
- Find an in-town writing buddy to keep me accountable.
- Renew the gym membership so I can go back to yoga classes.
Make three nice promises to yourself.
- I will do everything within my power to solve financial woes.
- I will be patient with myself concerning my writing habits.
- I will be conscious of my energy level in relation to all of the socializing I'm doing over the next two weeks.
Do one lovely thing for yourself each day this week.
Monday I ordered the remainder of the wedding pictures for the album.
Tuesday I watched the rain and read.
Wednesday I went for a walk to the bookstore despite the rainstorm. I remembered I had an umbrella after I got back.
Thursday I made a Mountain Goats Pandora station.
Tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a photography light tent so I can get good pictures of my Polly Pockets.
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